Sunday, July 25, 2010

Insecurities

I've been feeling very insecure about things lately.

As soon as I hear about another wedding, venue, or DIY project, I start to feel unprepared for our big day. I start to question whether Oxon Hill is really a nice venue and whether I've chosen the right DIY projects to tackle...

I know. I know. What's my problem? This is our day to create any kind of party we want, anywhere we want (considering our budget of course), so why should it matter what others think and what others do? Well, it just does. You don't want to do a crap job. Come on, we all care. Probably a little too much.

I just get cold feet about the decisions we've made and it sucks. Miss Sloth mentioned this earlier in the week. Having a long engagement gives you more of an opportunity to second guess yourself, and third, and fourth second guess yourself. Ugh. I honestly wish I wasn't like that, but I feel like I can't help myself. I wish I felt more assured in our decisions. I can't stand being such a fickle bride.

Here's the thing:  a friend tells me her friend picked their venue and it's a resort. Immediately, I start to wonder if our venue is as nice. This is before I even know what the name of this resort is! Nevertheless, I start to wonder why we didn't pick a resort. Should we have picked a resort?

I run and look up the resort, just to find it's rated 4.5 stars on Wedding Wire. What do I do next? In a complete panic (unforeseen to others of course), I promptly check the ratings for Oxon Hill.

Please, please God!

Let it be 4.5 stars or more!

Whew.

We're 4.5 stars...

I think it goes without saying we all feel insecure sometimes, so our wedding is not going to be any different. We're going to see and hear about other brides and weddings, and sometimes feel a little envy or doubt. It's normal. I know it is, but it still sucks.

Do you feel insecure about your wedding?

What makes you feel that way?

How do you get past it?

Onto more happier notes soon!

9 comments:

Chic 'n Cheap Living said...

Don't second guess yourself dear (though the dress thing is one area where brides do change their minds frequently).

You have a lovely venue and most importantly, it's you (and Aaron). When the prettiness and pressure from other blogs and weddings gets you down, step back and feel happy in how cool your own wedding will be!

Kristin said...

Oooo, I do second guess myself too! I start to think our wedding attempts are feeble and my ideas are crazy.

Your venue is gorgeous though! At least, I think so. I'm sure others will look at your wedding and feel insecure - I think insecurities are a natural human flaw. Gosh darnit!

Nicole-Lynn said...

Aw.. yes, it's normal to second guess! I do it some especially when I see beautiful weddings on blogs but I know our wedding will be very "Us" and what we want, that's all that matters.

Erin*Sparkle&Hay said...

Oh honey I feel for you! It is definitely normal, especially when you are bombarded with so many other ideas/inspirations all day long through magazines, blogs, tv shows, etc... sometimes I just need to take a deep breathe, refocus, and remember how much I love MY vision, and how it is an expression of who Dan & I are as a couple and that is what matters. And while it's so easy and fun to get caught up in the awe-inspiring details try to always remember that you are not planning this wedding for everyone else - you are planning it for YOU. (at least that's what I do!) :)

And besides, you have such fantastic ideas that I know it is going to be a gorgeous happy celebration.

Lady Grey said...

I think it's totally normal! I was insecure too, but then I realized I wasn't really insecure myself, I was just worried about other people's expectations.... once I got over that, I was fine.
have confidence in your choices, it's your day!
oxo

Frugalista said...

I ONLY started to 2nd guess what I did and did not do until the few days before! For me I was just so thrilled to be planning a wedding that to be able to pick a venue or a cake was so great I didn't think about what other choices there were. Also, my budget narrowed a lot down for me to the point where for a lot of things I got the best I could with the money I could spend and that was it. Not a lot of wiggle room to make changes even if I wanted to! You will be fine. You have a great eye. Your wedding isn't going to look like someone else's. It will look like YOURS!

Meg said...

oh i know exactly what you mean... and i still find myself comparing out wedding (last year) to new ones i see pictures of. but the important thing is to remember that as long as you and your man are there, and you have a good time, your guests will love being there for you and they'll love the effort you've put into making the day special. everyone will be there to celebrate you! let that be the focus of the day, and don't stress over unimportant little details hun :)
xo meg

Faith said...

i 2nd guess a few things because i wanted SO many things. i just had to pick one and i wanted more than one thing! based on our budget i obviously couldn't have two dresses, two shoes, etc. soon i just stopped. unless i was made of money i realized i just had to stop. once i came to terms with it the planning got a lot easier and i stopped thinking about everything i couldnt have. my wedding wasn't perfect ... some things i wish we had more money for ... but right now, i am sooo happy we stayed within the budget and did not get everything I wanted. you will get pass it. just realize that everything you both choose is the things you both actually want or can afford!

Nicole said...

You can't compare your wedding to other people's because you don't know what they went through to get it, what they gave up, what they spent, everyone does things different so Don't worry. As long as yours is beautiful to you who cares. Besides it's more about the marriage anyway. I'm not stressing over mine yet. When I start, just remind me of my words :)

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