Today I'm going to move away from talking just about the wedding to discuss marriage. I found a great article on Smartmoney.com called, "The Six Financial Mistakes Couples Make," that explains a few big problems that cause finances to come between a couple. According to the article, spending is the second most common reasons couple fight. The solution?
Keep Spending in Check
Wrong Approach: "I'm a saver and your a spender. That's the problem."
Right Approach: "We both spend, but on different things. Let's budget."
This point really hit home with me, because I think I've said the wrong approach to Mr. Brooch dozens of times in the past (like last week! yikes!) and even if I didn't say that exact phrase ("I'm a saver and your a spender"), I've thought it.
Mr. Brooch likes to spend his money on expensive stuff. He likes to go out to really nice restuarants and if he buys clothes, they have to be good quality, name brand. The thing is he only shops every once in a blue moon and we don't go out to fancy restuarants all the time.
It's hard to say what I spend my money on because I'm all over the place. I usually dwindle at my money, refusing to buy anything too expensive, but ultimately still spending a lot. If it's a friend's birthday, I will splurge on dinner and drinks for them. If I'm in the mood for crafts, I'll spend a pretty penny on a bunch of scrapbooking supplies. Catch my drift?
We both spend.
Keep in mind that it's not that we shouldn't spend, because it's envitable that we will. It's that we should spend wisely. We also have to be careful not to judge each other for our spending habits. How do you do that?
Talk About It
The article suggests "sitting down and deciding how much money you're going to allocate to the 'dailyness' of life, and how much to save for the big purchases."
This might come as a surprise to some, but my dad requested a budget from Mr. Brooch and me. He wanted to see how planned to maintain our bills each month when we're married and live together. My dad also asked a lot of questions about how much money we have saved, how we plan to save, and how much money we're making now. It might seem offensive to some, but he is trying to make us aware of the financial hiccups that can stunt a realtionship.
I'm proud to say that I had created a proposed budget with Mr. Brooch long before my dad asked for it (yay, we're on top of this)! The budget, which we will probably use for awhile, breaks down where we are spending and saving from each of our pay checks.