Monday, December 14, 2009

Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?

Word to the wise... there will be detours!

Life was good about a month after Mr. Brooch and I found our dream venue visiting Oxon Hill Manor for a bridal show. Everything was going according to plan and we were checking one pre-wedding task off of our list after another, including taking engagement pictures taken.  Yay!

Since we were on such a roll, we scheduled dinner with my parents to discuss our progress. We don't seem them very often and when we do, there is a lot to discuss, especially about the wedding. Keep in mind this dinner took place while Mr. Brooch and I were still pretty convinced we were getting married in October, not April (for background read picking a date).

My dad starts us off by asking, "Are you still thinking November?"

O - M - G!

"Dad," I said, "It's October!"

Then my stepmom says, "Why October? You can't have a year engagement because that's what the internet says to do! Is the deposit refundable?"

O - M - G!

Where were all these questions were coming from? Where was all this input three months ago when we were looking at venues? I distinctly remember calling them and asking for suggestions. We called when we found our venue. We even consulted with them before we submitted our deposit. Were they listening? Did they care?

Yes and yes. They were listening and they care a great deal, but they also have their own ideas about things. Mr. Brooch reassured me of this on the way home when I was freaking out a bit: "How could she ask us if the deposit was refundable?" and say things like "We saved for this, but we thought it would happen in 10 years, not now!"


*Deep breath*


*Deep breath*

I touched on this a little in my post about picking a date. One thing about our wedding that I had to realize very quickly, is that despite all the hype about it being your day, it has a lot to do with a lot of other people too. Don't get me wrong, I think it's great to have input, have help, and people around who care, but sometimes you don't want advice, you just wanted support.

At the time, I really struggled accepting the fact that my parents had a different timetable than I did. Of course now, I'm so happy (doing backflips) that we gave ourselves more time, but I know there's some brides out there dealing with this same issue.

If you're feeling resistance or hesitation from any family members or friends on any wedding-related issues, be it your wedding date, cost, or colors, my advice is to you is to reach out for help. I started a few threads here on Weddingbee and the hive was wonderful!! There was a huge outpouring of feedback and it was really comforting.

I also suggest giving it time. After a few months of discussing our date a little more, Mr. Brooch and I realized we were more into the idea of a spring wedding than we had previously thought. We eventually came to feel really good about our decision to submit to their suggestion!
What were your parents reaction to the wedding date you picked?

Have you had to balance what others want for your wedding with your own wants?



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